a guide to getting attached to minor characters!:
what if after you die you get stats like
words said total: 21,390,459
pushups done: 1.3
hours spent crying: 238
my dog was supposed to be a police dog but he failed the training for it because he was too much of a wimp. the trainers said that when he was supposed to be attacking dummies he’d run up to them and roll over and wag his tail and they also said he was the worst failure they’d ever seen
How can people think opossums are ugly? This precious baby is clutching its own tail with all four paws!
THIS IS ART
My lifes not going too great at the moment. I had planned to have petted at least 40% of the dogs on planet earth by now and I have petted maybe 0.5% of the dogs.
I just did the math and it turns out 0.5% of the dogs on the planet is 26 million and I dont even think I’ve petted that many :(
*on the phone with police after reporting a murder* no you hang up first
Breaking news: White fuckboys on twitter bitching how funny it is that Beyoncé is a feminist when she and her dancers were provocative and half naked. Despite feminism being about empowerment and a woman’s right to do whatever the hell she pleases with it, they just don’t seem to be able to grasp this concept.
In other news, men still don’t know what feminism is, still bitter that they aren’t Beyoncé and still making themselves look like asses on the internet.
And now the weather.
- breakfast: 3pm
- dinner: 11pm
- more food: 1am
- midnight snack: 4am
friend-zoning guys is horrible. it is disgusting. funzone them instead. send them to a small childs park so they can cry with the other babies when they dont get what they want.
i tried to destroy kanaya in mom jeans but kanaya won.